I need someplace to vent and then forget. And today, my story will be on my blog (sorry, SCL!). I have absolutely no tolerance for the type of rudeness and blatant disrespect that I experienced today at school. As a teacher, I have to make hundreds of little decisions every day. Some are better than others, just by the pure nature of life, but I always without a doubt have the best interest of my little ones at heart.
While I've never been a parent, I can imagine the way you protect your sweet children and want the best for them at all times. Imagine your judgement being called into question and attacked. It stings - badly. Today, I had a parent become verbally abusive and aggressive with me on the phone. She called into question my role as her daughter's protector during the day and began to chastise me for not taking better care of her daughter. My jaw hit the ground and I remained silent. Her attacks were unjust, without merit and were never allowed to be explained. She believes her daughter was seriously injured at school and was irate that she was not contacted. She would not listen long enough to understand that her daughter never, not even one little whisper, complained that she was hurt. In a world of 5 year olds that cry buckets over a paper cut (I mean really, who wouldn't - they hurt!), she never even said "ow." I was deeply sorry to hear her daughter expressed that she was hurt when she got home - words of compassion that were mimicked and dismissed.
She judged me for being careless, screamed, yelled and resorted to mocking me like a child. Teachers are not miracle workers. We are not perfect. But we are human and we care for your children tremendously. We work day after day, hour after hour to plan creative and engaging lessons, to teach each and every child to read, write and love school. We teach them about peer interactions and how to be kind.
What is this mother teaching her child? Is the work I so tirelessly try to teach her child going to waste? Her daughter, my student, was listening as her mother berated me and tore me down. What lesson is this teaching? That teachers are worthless and can be treated like dirt.
Teach your children respect. Teach them that life is more than screaming and that life involves modeling. Show your 5 year-old that problems aren’t solved by becoming abusive. Problems are solved by listening and understanding. When you are angry, walk away. As we say every single day in school, if you are feeling angry take a deep breath and count to ten. All of the work we do is torn down in the instant a parent shows the contrary. This little girl sees her mom, her role model, being disrespectful and confrontational. Now, why should I think this student will grow up to be anything different? That is a sad, but honest reality.
Her words stung. Her anger was sharp. She had absolutely no right to talk to me with such aggression. I made it very clear on the phone, while speaking calmly, that I would not tolerate her verbal aggression. She was so angry - she hung up.
Teaching is so very different than many people think. It’s tough, it’s hard and it can be an emotional struggle. We try our hardest every single day to provide a safe and rich learning environment. Please recognize this and respect my position in the classroom. I am not your chew toy and not your property.
Tomorrow is a new day. I’m not sure what I will hear from this parent again. The principal fully supports me, which I really value. I will not let this parent into my classroom without an administrator. She crossed a line that will not be repaired. She abused me, she judged me and she attacked me. I know I can handle anything that comes my way. I know this will make me stronger. I know how I want to and how I do not want raise my own children. Respect, kindness and understanding will be values I teach my own and I deeply believe they will be learning the same from their caring and loving teacher.
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